When I close my eyes and listen deep within me, I envision a little girl cupping her hands around a precious, glowing ball of light. I intuitively know that she is the keeper of my creativity. She is the protector of my spark, energy, and passion. It is her job to keep that light lit, to keep it safe and warm, to keep that fire burning in me so that I always have access to its creative energy.
But through life, societal conditioning, all the things, this beautiful, innocent part of me felt far too vulnerable. So for much of my life I worked hard to build a fortress around her, surrounded her with a moat, clothed her in armor. I buried her as deep as possible in my psyche—hid her from view to keep myself (and her) safe from judgment and criticism so much so that for a while, I forgot she was even there.
It’s taken years of work to slowly excavate this little girl and feel again the warm glow of her light. First to just be aware of her existence and then to start to release the heavy fortifications weighing her down. Removing layer after layer of things like perfectionism, fear of judgment, anxiety, worry, feelings of insignificance, shame, etc.
One by one as I released these protective coatings around her, I started to be able to work with her. To see her and feel the warmth of that ball of light which I now trust will never go out. It is the essence of who I am. I’ve had to learn it is safe to feel its warmth for myself and to let people see that light in me.
Do you need help finding the spark within yourself and releasing it from its armor? I’d love to hear about it. Book a discovery call, and let’s have a conversation.